Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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