im about as happy as oj after his trial
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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