I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize