my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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