Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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