so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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