Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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