I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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