i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize