We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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