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Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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