So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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