we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize