Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize