I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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