so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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