Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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