Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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