I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize