I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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