drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize