I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize