Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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