bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize