Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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