I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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