I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
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For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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