Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize