My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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