Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize