its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize