My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize