he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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