they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize