I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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