Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize