Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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