I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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