fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've blown a few things in my day
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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