He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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