pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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