Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize