smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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