dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drunk is not a location!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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