I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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