Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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