Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize