i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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