I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm at about main and main street
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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