haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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