it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
third nipple confirmed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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