Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize